late nights, early mornings, and everything in between

so this week has been majorly stressful for me on many levels....physically, academically, emotionally....you name it, i was stressed about it.....tis the reason for the lack of updates and for my recent hair-loss (j/k....that was cut off on purpose)

so anyways something that i've really been struggling with, not only this week, but for forever, is consistancy

consistancy with God tops my list and then from there it goes to consistancy with people/relationships and emotions and everything, i seem to always struggle with maintaining consistancy for very long....i always start off with the best and truest intentions which fall apart when i become busy or stressed or anything....

after viewing my list i wondered...hmmm...perhaps consitancy with God tops my list for a reason..perhaps if i get it right with him then ALL that other stuff will come easier and happen according to his plan...honestly this week i haven't cracked a bible open once and have been frazzled and under-the-weather...now i'm not saying that reading a bible would miraculously cure my sniffles, nor would it cause my hw to be done to perfection the first time....however, perhaps taking time out of my day to sit, breath deeply, and simply chat with God would cause me to relax for that briefest of moments and that, in turn, would give me a second-wind.....i have felt at the end of my rope this week and true, there are moments in the day when i have a good time, whether it's with friends or eating or such; but the feelings of ultra-stress and such always come back when i'm alone and they hit hard....

God knew that i would need next week off, he placed spring break strategically during a time when i needed it most....seriously i could not take any more of this....today i physically forced myself not to worry and dwell on the fact that i have 2 exams tomorrow (erm....in a few hours) and a speech...and though i'm sure many of you heard the fact many times (twas my way of defying myself...mentioning it over and over again), i was doing my best not to worry.....true, i studied, but i did not turn psycho over it

basically this post is really jumbled, at least i feel it is (perhaps it's b/c it's 1:30 in the morning and i haven't brushed my teeth yet).....so, ummm yeah.....basically i realized once again that God is in control and once i get things CONSISTANT with him, everything else will begin to A) make more sense and/or B) become less stressful

now i must go

the end